Episodes
Monday Dec 25, 2023
Episode 78: Black Christmas
Monday Dec 25, 2023
Monday Dec 25, 2023
“Greggs sausage roll, that's the British donut isn't it”
Venturing up into the attic to retrieve some Christmas decorations, the panel of peril get quite the fright: a television that is showing this week’s film Black Christmas (Bob Clark, 1974).
In an unnamed sorority house, Jess (Olivia Hussey), Barb (Margot Kidder), Mrs. Mac (Marian Waldman) et al have a Christmas they will never forget. They receive sinister phone calls and see ominous omens courtesy of the deranged ‘Billy’ who seeks to pick them off one by one. Will any of them survive the (silent) night (holy night), and how does the killer know so much about them all?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k6JuJHmVsh4&t=40s
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
The calls are coming from inside the house! Taking up residence in the sorority’s attic, Billy ventures down when it’s safe to pick off the girls one by one, beginning with Clare (Lynne Griffin). Surely it can be just a matter of time until the police, led by Lt. Fuller (John Saxon), trace the call and lead the madman out in cuffs? Just in time for a succulent turducken dinner with lashings of roast potatoes and veg? Yes… surely.
Did this week’s film fill the panel with festive cheer? Could they find a way to improve Billy’s villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Monday Dec 18, 2023
Episode 77: Die Hard 2
Monday Dec 18, 2023
Monday Dec 18, 2023
“$60 million on quiche?!”
The panel of peril complete their naked tai chi session, have a quick wash around the key areas, and watch this week’s film Die Hard 2 (Renny Harlin, 1990).
How can the same stuff happen to the same panel two years in a row? John McClane (Bruce Willis) just wants a quiet Christmas with his wife Holly (Bonnie Bedelia), but a bunch of criminal types have other ideas. Led by Thornberg (William Atherton), a group of mercs seek to rescue General Esperanza (Franco Nero) during the course of his extradition flight, after which he is due to stand trial. Can our comfy jumper-wearing hero save the day again?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CvHp7xJZ4_U
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Little do McClane and the crew know that Esperanza also has Major Grant (John Amos) and an elite US Army squadron onside, aiding his escape. Once that first flight is grounded, they’re getting on another flight – destination? Paradise, baby. Paradise. With the odds stacked against him, this is surely the end of the top gun cop. Yes siree, no more sequels for McClane, sadly ;)
What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?
Sound Effect by Kamil Kopowski from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Julius H. from Pixabay
Sound Effect by UNIVERSFIELD from Pixabay
Monday Dec 11, 2023
Episode 76: Guest House Paradiso
Monday Dec 11, 2023
Monday Dec 11, 2023
“Is Vienetta Italian?”
The panel of peril take a break from slamming each other’s heads inside the fridge door over and over and over again to watch this week’s film: Guest House Paradiso (Adrian Edmondson, 1999).
Richie Twat (Rik Mayall) and Eddie Elizabeth Ndingombaba (Edmondson) run perhaps the worst guest house on our fair isle. It’s dark, dingy, they’ll steal your belongings, insult you, feed you slop, and are situated adjacent to a nuclear facility. An unexpected guest arrives in Italian starlet Gina Carbonara (Helene Mahieu) bringing not only prestige with her, but troublesome jilted fiancé Gino Bolognese (Vincent Cassel). Two words for you: uh ohhhhhhhhhh!
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNsP8SIRGIs&t=15s
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Arriving on the scene to TAKE the hand of his lover, Gino won’t have any guff from Richie and Eddie, and isn’t shy about letting them know that. Featuring an all-star cast including Simon Pegg, Bill Nighy and Kate Ashfield, Guest House Paradiso is the Bottom spin-off that shows us the true meaning of the phrase ‘don’t eat irradiated fish, because it will make you violently ill’.
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Music: Upbeat Quirky Background Jazz - Pixabay
Music: The Show Intro - Pixabay
Watch the making of the film here: Guest House Paradiso - Behind The Scenes (youtube.com)
Read all about The Little Mermaid’s phallic castle turret here: https://reelrundown.com/animation/What-You-Didnt-See-HIdden-Disney-Images-The-Little-Mermaid
Monday Dec 04, 2023
Episode 75: Tomorrow Never Dies
Monday Dec 04, 2023
Monday Dec 04, 2023
“The Antiques Roadshow of terrorism”
The panel of peril don their sharpest suit, take a swig of a vodka martini (shaken not stirred) and sit nonchalantly to watch this week’s film Tomorrow Never Dies (Roger Spottiswoode, 1997).
James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) has got his work cut out for him this time around as he locks horns with weedy media mogul Elliot Carver (Jonathan Pryce). There’s something distinctly shady about this Rupert Murdoch avatar, and M (Judi Dench) wants 007 on the case, pronto! He’ll be joined by Chinese operative Wai Ling (Michelle Yeoh) in trying to take down the delicious villain.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eqrk7-mx2D0
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Old man Carver is a bit of a naughty boy. He’s trying to manufacture a conflict between the UK and China. To do so he utilises the might of his media empire - including newspaper Tomorrow – and also missiles, goons and that. His prize? Exclusive news peddling rights in China. What an absolute heel. Will Bond and Ling be able to stop Carver and avert war, and how will the panel improve on this diabolical scheme?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Music by Bruno Magic from Pixabay
Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music by Julius H. from Pixabay
Monday Nov 27, 2023
Episode 74: Laputa - Castle In The Sky
Monday Nov 27, 2023
Monday Nov 27, 2023
“He is a bit of a patsy. He’s a little b!tch”
The panel of peril settle down with a delicious-looking, open topped, fried egg sandwich to watch this week’s cinematic treat Studio Ghibli’s Castle In The Sky (Hayao Miyazaki, 1986).
Sheeta (Anna Paquin) and Pazu (James Van Der Beek) are two young rapscallions on the hunt for the adventure, primarily centred around Sheeta’s mysterious crystal necklace. That necklace saves her from certain doom several times over and may well lead her to the lost sky city of Laputa and the titular castle. But with sky pirates, the army and the mysterious Muska (Mark Hamill) on their trail will they make it in one piece?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ykEy-yPBFc
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Not only does the necklace lead Sheeta, her friends, and her enemies to Laputa but it has the ability to harness the power of the floating island. Power that Muska – a long lost relative of Sheeta! – wants to harness for his own nefarious ends. There’s also a bunch of really cool robots who have become one with nature to contend with. But who’s magnificent flying machines will travel fast enough to claim the prize first?
What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Music Inspiring Emotional Uplifting Piano - Pixabay
Music Relaxing Birds and piano music - Pixabay
Everybody gather ‘round and enjoy a nice cool glass of Laputa juice with this tie-in trailer: https://youtu.be/REUvSmsPzlI?si=FWdkANekdxjO_cqD
Monday Nov 20, 2023
Episode 73: Flash Gordon
Monday Nov 20, 2023
Monday Nov 20, 2023
“The story of forbidden love between a bee and a human woman”
The panel of peril bleach their hair, pump some iron, and get harangued onto a space rocket heading for the distant planet of Mongo! Fortunately, the in-flight movie is Flash Gordon (Mike Hodges, 1980), so there’s that.
Flash (Sam Jones) has it all: hair, muscles, tight t-shart – but when he and erstwhile companion Dale (Melody Anderson) are whisked away and confronted by Ming The Merciless (Max Von Sydow), no amount of muscle tees can save him. Deciding to destroy planet Earth on a mere whim, Ming is the kind of tyrant who demands loyalty from all of his subjects, be they bird men (Brian Blessed) or Errol Flynn types (Timothy Dalton). Can Flash do stuff to stop the thing?! Likely so, yes.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6uOHnxf85g
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
All Flash has to do to stop the untimely destruction of our byowtiful home planet is unite the warring tribes of Mongo, and break the hold that Ming has over his populace. Should be easy right? WRONG! It will be very, very DIFFICULT because they DO NOT LIKE EACH OTHER! Ha, ha, just like the wars that happen upon our beyoomtiful home planet, amirite? In all seriousness though, he’s got his work cut out for him, has Flash, bigly.
What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon the villain’s dastardly scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?
Sound Effect by Aleksandr Karabanov from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Monday Nov 13, 2023
Episode 72: The Room
Monday Nov 13, 2023
Monday Nov 13, 2023
“It made me bored of sex”
Laughing at nothing in particular, the panel of peril sit down in overly dramatic fashion to watch this week’s cinematic tour de force The Room (Tommy Wiseau, 2003).
Johnny (Wiseau) is such a great guy. Such a great, great guy. He’s going to get a promotion for sure, everyone loves him, his lovemaking technique is top class, and he’s superb at football. But ungrateful harpy of a girlfriend Lucy (Juliette Danielle) doesn’t think so. She thinks he’s a real drag and would rather get it on with Mark (Greg Sestero). That’s it.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cG_e8k9PILM
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
And get it on with Mark she does, several times, and then Johnny finds out and, well… That would be a spoiler too far. Infamously incompetent in its scripting, direction, and performances, The Room is a must-see for aficionados of bad cinema and fans of those unafraid to try – not matter their competency level.
What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
This episode is dedicated to Sam Steinson.
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Episode 71: The Producers (1967)
Monday Nov 06, 2023
Monday Nov 06, 2023
“Your eardrums are going to be sh!tting themselves”
The panel of peril take a well-earned break from romancing a wealthy old dear, in order to be gifted a large cheque, naturally, and relax by watching this week’s film The Producers (Mel Brooks, 1967).
Max Bialystock (Zero Mostel) is a producer of the stage whose glory days are far behind him. His rent is in arrears and his main source of income comes from swindling wealthy old ladies of their savings. That is until child-like accountant Leo Bloom (Gene Wilder) discovers that they could make more money producing a flop than a hit. Will they be successful in creating the worst show of the season?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTW2ZSjG5N0
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Selecting a show written by “former” Nazi Franz Liebkind (Kenneth Mars) named Springtime For Hitler, Max and Leo are confident the show will flop. Little do they know that director and star will conspire to turn the show into a camp comedy that the audience warms to surprisingly quickly. Is this the end of our venerable scoundrels hopes of absconding to Rio?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Music by Sergei Chetvertnykh from Pixabay
Music by Geoff Harvey from Pixabay
Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay
Music by Yevhen Onoychenko from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
Music by Alban_Gogh from Pixabay
Sound Effect by Shiden Beats Music from Pixabay
Music by Julius H. from Pixabay
Music by Broadway Walk from Pixabay
Monday Oct 30, 2023
Episode 70: John Carpenter’s Halloween
Monday Oct 30, 2023
Monday Oct 30, 2023
“He'd be a YouTube prankster now wouldn't he. Instead of a serial killer”
Pulling the blank featureless mask over their face, the Panel of Peril breath in deeply and out deeper. They consider picking up a kitchen knife, but instead plump for a DVD of this week’s film, John Carpenter’s Halloween (1978).
Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) is an outlier among her group of high school friends. She has no date for the school dance and doesn’t drink or smoke. So, when homicidal maniac Michael Myers (Tony Moran) returns to the her hometown of Haddonfield, her position as a bit of a wet blanket will ensure that she can keep a beady eye fixed on The Shape’s movements.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5ke9IPTIJQ
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Myers rampages through the town, killing anyone who gets in his way – primarily Laurie’s babysitter friends. Fortunately, Dr. Sam Loomis (Donald Pleasance) is on the case, with his trusty little pistol, and dead set on stopping the boiler suit-wearing bruiser. Will Laurie survive All Hallows Eve, or will Myers run through everyone and go unpunished?
Did the panel enjoy this week’s cinematic serving? Could they find a way to improve the villainous plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Episode 69: Green Lantern
Monday Oct 23, 2023
Monday Oct 23, 2023
“Everyone likes a comic on the bog”
The panel of peril dress entirely in green, mutter something about being afraid of something or something, and strap themselves into the Ludovico chair to watch Green Lantern (Martin Campbell, 2011).
Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is your standard authority-bucking, secretly fearful, movie fighter pilot. His relationship with childhood friends Carol (Blake Lively) and Hector (Peter Sarsgaard) is as strained as his attempts at improvised sass. But when a space alien gives Hal a magic ring that harnesses the power of the colour green… well, you can be sure that a bunch of stuff happens in a serviceable fashion, and no mistake.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7-GO9fo9DtM
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Right, the bad guy is a big cloudy CG fella named Parallax. He can use the power of the colour YELLOW to harness fear, power up and go ham on whoever or whatever he wants! And he wants to go ham on the Green Lantern home planet of Oa and take out the Lantern Corps (all 3600 of them) and the all-knowing Guardians. Will Parallax reign supreme, or will Hal be able to confront his fear, overcome his fear, harness his fear, and defeat the fear that Parallax conjures. For God’s sake, we really, really hope so.
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Music by Luis Humanoide from Pixabay
Music by Grand_Project from Pixabay
Sound Effect from Pixabay
This is Diabolical!
Join the panel of peril as we compete on a weekly basis to determine how Blofeld can be bested, who will be the madman to one-up Thanos, or what ingredients make up Hannibal Lecter's latest lunch box.
The panel of peril is comprised of Adam Turner, Ben Steinson, Craig Morris and Gareth Slade - four childhood friends spread across the world, reconnecting through our mutual love of film. And evil schemes.
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