Episodes
4 days ago
Episode 94: Bram Stoker's Dracula
4 days ago
4 days ago
“You simply must introduce me to that pile of rats”
The panel of peril down a big glass of red wine and eat a plate of delicious, steamed broccoli and roasted garlic before taking in this week’s film Bram Stoker’s Dracula (Francis Ford Coppola, 1992).
Count Dracula (Gary Oldman) is an elderly gent rattling around in his large home, pining after his lost love Elisabeta (Winona Ryder). When solicitor Jonathon Harker (Keanu Reeves) turns up at his gaff to seal a London property deal, he sees that Harker’s bride to be Mina Murray (also Ryder) is the reincarnation of his centuries dead love. Can the Count win the heart of Murray or will Harker wed her as planned?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fgFPIh5mvNc
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
He’s a vampire! Blah! Dracula has travelled oceans of time to find Mina and nothing will stop him from being with her now. Snacking on her best friend Lucy (Sadie Frost), avoiding blood expert Abraham Van Helsing (Anthony Hopkins) and manipulating henchman Renfield (Tom Waits), it seems as though ol’ Drac has every base covered. Will he make off with a new bride, or will a stake be put through his ambitions?
What the actual flip did the panel make of this one? How the actual flip can they improve upon Count Dracula’s bloody scheme? And who the actual flip will be victorious in this week’s competition?
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Monday Apr 15, 2024
Episode 93: Oldboy
Monday Apr 15, 2024
Monday Apr 15, 2024
“A haiku?”
Fighting their way past a load of goons, down a narrow corridor, the panel of peril struggle to make any headway. Finally finishing off the last of the lads (no laughing at the back there!), they slump in their chair exhausted and watch this week’s film Oldboy (Park Chan-wook, 2003).
Oh Dae-su (Choi Min-sik) is a bit of a d-bag. A drunken, irresponsible, womanising d-bag, to be specific. When he is inexplicably locked up in a single room for 15 years, by a cash-rich lad named Lee Woo-jin (Yoo Ji-tae) as it turns out, he changes his ways and becomes a stoic killing machine. Why was he imprisoned, and just how does new flame Mi-do (Kang Hye-jeong) fit into this intricate puzzle?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hBNBpNcuQHI
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Turns out that during their time at Evergreen, Dae-su started a scurrilous rumour that Woo-jin was having an incestuous affair with his own sister Soo-ah (Yoon Jin-seo). That rumour snowballed to the point that Soo-ah took her own life and led her broken-hearted brother on a path of long game vengeance. To tell all would be a spoiler too far. Who will come out on top of this tragic tussle and what will be left of them?
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Woo-jin’s deliberate machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
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Monday Apr 08, 2024
Episode 92: Unforgiven
Monday Apr 08, 2024
Monday Apr 08, 2024
“Here lies Will Carling, the rugby guy who sh@gg3d Diana”
The panel of peril try to wrangle their pigs into the pigpen but repeatedly fall over and get all muddy. They shower off at the water hole and decide to watch a film instead: Unforgiven (Clint Eastwood, 1992).
1880: Ex-outlaw Bill Munny (Eastwood) was a bad, bad man before settling down and becoming a family man. He’d happily off women and children in his pursuit of dough alongside buddy Ned Logan (Morgan Freeman), and now he is drawn back into that world by the Schofield Kid (Jaimz Woolvet). Pursuing a bounty put on the heads of two lads who have scarred up a sex worker’s face. Will Munny claim the bounty? One man stands in his way – unscrupulous Sheriff Little Bill (Gene Hackman).
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftTX4FoBWlE
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Little Bill is no fan of bounty hunters, gun slingers, ‘n’ outlaws. Just as quickly as they arrive in the town of big Whiskey, Bill is kicking the tar out of them and sending them on their merry way. Will Bill, Ned and the Kid be able to circumnavigate the control freak lawman, and will the claiming of the bounty cost them more than they stand to gain?
What did the heck panel think of this week’s movie? How in all that is holy can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And which evil schemer will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
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Monday Apr 01, 2024
Episode 91: Napoleon Dynamite
Monday Apr 01, 2024
Monday Apr 01, 2024
“He's not rump; he's tripe”
The panel of peril finish inspecting the last of the cow’s udders on the farm they’re working on and head home to watch this week’s film Napoleon Dynamite (Jared Hess, 2004).
Napoleon (Jon Heder) is a typical teen: he lives with his Grandma (Sandy Martin), brother Kip (Aaron Ruell), and an alpaca named Tina. He enjoys doing sweet jumps on bikes, sketching mythical creatures of his own creation, and catching delicious bass’ for romantic targets. But when Uncle Rico (Jon Gries) moves in, it really puts the liger amongst the pigeons.
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHDi_AnqwN4
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Old Rico isn’t a massive fan of Napoleon. He mocks him to his face, and throws a steak in his face… probably also makes fun of his face off screen. He’s also stuck in the past and desperate to make moolah by any means necessary, whether that be by selling shoddy Tupperware, herbal enhancers, or simply investing in the nascent science of time travel.
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Rico’s cash grabbing scheme? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Peluca: the original Napoleon Dynamite short film can be seen here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9SeTfcj3UKI
Finally! PORTABLE chopsticks: https://zenminded.uk/products/snow-peak-wabuki-chopsticks-large
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Monday Mar 25, 2024
Episode 90: Highlander
Monday Mar 25, 2024
Monday Mar 25, 2024
“Can we all agree now that it makes more sense than Kurgan being Ric Flair in a carpark'”
The panel of peril stand about a bit as a battle rages around them; no one will fight them for some reason. As they are clearly too ‘ard for the other combatants, they head home to watch this week’s film Highlander (Russell Mulcahy, 1986).
Connor Macleod (Christopher Lambert) can only be killed by the act of decapitation (preferably by sword). He is a member of an exclusive band of centuries-old Immortals who await the Gathering, at which they will fight to the end, and after which there can be only one. Guided by mentor Ramirez (Sean Connery), can Macleod survive to the bitter end and take out arch-nemesis The Kurgan (Clancy Brown)?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omOZyLmNMJs
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
The Kurgan is out for more than just the world domination his final victory would surely guarantee. He wants revenge for the scar Connor’s mentor gave him across the length of his neck, a constant reminder of his near defeat. Each man cuts a swathe through the other Immortals as they march towards a final confrontation in New York City and the prize of The Quickening!
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon The Kurgan’s bulldozer-style plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
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Monday Mar 18, 2024
Nemonie Craven vs. Muppet Treasure Island
Monday Mar 18, 2024
Monday Mar 18, 2024
“Sh!t happens, wocka wocka!”
The panel of peril take a chunk a meat from the salt barrel, a tot of rum from the rum barrel, and a film from the DVD barrel. That film is Muppet Treasure Island (Brian Henson, 1996), and we settle in to watch with this week’s special guest Nemonie Craven!
Jim Hawkins (Kevin Bishop) has in his possession a certain map. That map leads to a certain island. A treasure island, in fact. Flanked by Gonzo (Dave Goelz) and Rizzo (Steve Whitmere) they embark on the good ship Hispaniola to find this mysterious isle. Captained by the ‘fiery’ Kermit the Frog (also Steve Whitmere), will the ship sail true to treasure, or is there villainy afoot?
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-37gsH0ideE
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Also aboard is Long John Silver (Tim Curry) who befriends young Jim in order to get his mucky mits on the precious map. Will the youngster and his felt friends stay one step ahead of the one-legged ne’er-do-well, or will Jim and the gang be cast into the briny for their troubles?
What did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon the villain’s masterplan? And what book does Nemonie think would benefit from the Muppet treatment?
A taster of Grand Theft Hamlet: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N5d9wdw-usk
A link for Marlow’s Landing: Marlow's Landing: A John Murray Original (JM Originals): Amazon.co.uk: Vieira, Toby: 9781473633179: Books
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Monday Mar 11, 2024
Episode 89: Dario Argento's Phenomena
Monday Mar 11, 2024
Monday Mar 11, 2024
“It’s a range war – you’re kicking that chimp to death”
The panel of peril have just missed their bus and are stranded in the middle of a lonely, windy mountain range. Fortunately, there’s a creepy abandoned house nearby which they settle into to watch this week’s film Phenomena (Dario Argento, 1985).
Jennifer (Jennifer Connelly) is an American girl currently taking residence at an all-girls school in Switzerland. Not only that, but she has a psychic connection with the insect world, and moreover loves the little buggers. Sadly, there is a lunatic murderer around the grounds of the school, picking off girls and women seemingly at random. Help is at hand though in the form of wheelchair bound forensic bug expert Professor John (Donald Pleasance) and his chimpanzee nurse Inga (Tanga).
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=upUJetCHYFc
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
The murderer(s) turn out to be none other than school ma’am Frau Bruckner (Daria Nicolodi) along with her gerbil-faced, freak of a son who has many a crazy thought, I can tell you. Once they manage to capture our young heroine, who or what can possibly save her? The INSECTS?!!! The CHIMPANZEE!!?!! Time/watching the film will tell…
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon Bruckner’s loopy machinations? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Monday Mar 04, 2024
Episode 88: The Night Comes For Us
Monday Mar 04, 2024
Monday Mar 04, 2024
“You’re like a podcasting Nostradamus”
The panel of peril are absolutely battering each other – limbs, teeth and shoes are flying hither and thither. They stop and think ‘actually this is awfully silly of us, let’s watch a film instead.’ And they do; this week’s treat The Night Comes For Us (Timo Tjahjanto, 2018).
Ito (Joe Taslim) is a member of the elite Six Seas group who look after smuggling routes across Asia for the Triad. But when a sudden attack of conscience sees him turn on his brethren to save a young girl named Reina (Asha Kenyeri Bermudez) he finds himself on the run from the Six Seas at the command of Chien Wu (Sunny Pang) and his handpicked replacement Arian (Iko Uwais).
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HfSisHrUTLM
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Ito believes that the safety of Reina will lend his life a meaning that it has lacked until this point, consisting mainly of wiping out villages full of civilians and wotnot. Awe-inspiringly violent and with some tremendous fight choreography for the leads, TNCFU is a must-see entry into the recent wave of Indonesian action thrillers.
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie, pray tell? How can they improve upon the Six Seas’ quest for revenge? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Monday Feb 26, 2024
Episode 87: The Naked Gun
Monday Feb 26, 2024
Monday Feb 26, 2024
“I know you think of yourself as a Mark Wahlberg-type character”
The panel of peril wipe the unsightly chunk of banana off the side of their mouth and slip into something more comfortable to watch this week’s film The Naked Gun (David Zucker, 1988).
Police Squad’s finest, Lt. Frank Drebin (Leslie Nielsen), is tasked with investigating an attack on Det. Nordberg (OJ Simpson) just as the city is expecting a huge visit from Queen Elizabeth II (Jeannette Charles). Questioning local property magnate Vincent Ludwig (Ricardo Montalban) leads Drebin down a path that sees both events intertwine and begin a relationship with his assistant, the delightful Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley).
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S476PqNJkPM
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
Jane digs up some startling info on her boss. Not only is he trafficking illegal goods through the city docks, but he has cut a sweet deal to have the Queen assassinated. His method? Mind control. His hitman? A baseball player, during a game that her Maj will be in attendance for! Can our incredible investigator find which player has their sights set on Queenie, or will Ludwig succeed and become slightly richer than he is already is?
Just what did the panel think of this week’s movie? How can they improve upon Ludwig’s regicidal plan? And who will be christened this week’s most diabolical?
Here’s that bit from Police Squad that Ben mentioned: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i8PZFQz-qmo
And Gaz and Craig's appearance on the Fandomentals podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/2Mno0arNicnZmgVGaMLz8c?si=fXd6t0bTRTOSVWJh0LY28Q
Monday Feb 19, 2024
Episode 86: Beverly Hills Cop
Monday Feb 19, 2024
Monday Feb 19, 2024
“Where are The Beverly Hillbillies during this?”
The panel of peril just about make it home, despite the banana up their tailpipe (fnar, fnar), in their battered old automobile. Just in time to check out this week’s film Beverly Hills Cop (Martin Brest, 1984).
Detroit cop Axel Foley (Eddie Murphy) is a streetwise, proverbial good cop who knows how to collar a perp. Unfortunately, his friend Mikey falls foul of Beverly Hills bad sod Victor Maitland (Steven Berkoff) and tastes hot lead at the hands of scary henchman Zack (Jonathan Banks). Looks like a trip to sunny B Hills is on the itinerary for Axel F!
Watch the trailer here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oc3sPICXZLs
********PLOT SPOILER ALERT********
At first falling foul of Detective Rosewood (Judge Reinhold) and Sergeant Taggart (John Ashton), Axel slowly makes inroads to finding out what Victor’s beef with Mikey was. Cocaine and bearer bonds are being smuggled through his high-class art dealership, more than enough to nail his British bottom to the wall. Can Axel convince the Beverly Hills PD to help him do so, though?
Did this week’s film fill the panel with nostalgic cheer? Could they find a way to improve Victor’s money-grubbing plan? And who will be named this week’s most diabolical (person/podcast((er)))?
This is Diabolical!
Join the panel of peril as we compete on a weekly basis to determine how Blofeld can be bested, who will be the madman to one-up Thanos, or what ingredients make up Hannibal Lecter's latest lunch box.
The panel of peril is comprised of Adam Turner, Ben Steinson, Craig Morris and Gareth Slade - four childhood friends spread across the world, reconnecting through our mutual love of film. And evil schemes.
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